A wee poetry competition for Wild Bill's mum

Tue 25 Apr 2006, 12:01 PM

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by Ben Langhinrichs
Alas, you have to feel sympathy for Wild Bill's mum.  While I am sure he is a good lad in his own way, he does tend a bit toward the... risqué.  On one recent occasion, his mother had finally had enough, and, as Wild Bill described it on his weblog, commanded:

Stop using four-letter words!

Although I have not had the pleasure of meeting Bill's mother, I have had the pleasure of spending a good bit of time with Wild Bill... and I feel a bit sorry for her.

So, here's my idea, inspired by the comments to Wild Bill's post.  Let's have a wee poetry competition, where we come up with poetry of any description that we can send to Wild Bill's mother to prove that, even if Wild Bill himself is incapable of doing without four letter words, his friends are more couth.

Here are some rules/guidelines:

1) No four letter words.  Five or three letter words are fine.  Contractions such as "don't" are still four letters.

2) Use whatever poetic form suits you, from Haiku to Sonnets.

3) Extra points for risqué language and double entendres.  After all, she said no four letter words, but she is Wild Bill's mother, so she would probably enjoy slightly off color humor.

I'll start off with the two entries I added to Bill's blog, but I hope to come up with more later.  Maybe we could send these to Bill's mother for Mother's Day (if they celebrate such things over there).

There was a young fellow named Billy
Who would wildly chase every filly
Shouting words so obscene
His mother did scream
"Please desist!" - you're sounding quite silly

I think I've never heard a speech
so uncouth as one replete
w' cussing (usually in a screech)
and words I would not oft repeat.

By the way, it is fine to post over on Bill's blog, as Rich and Jess have already.  Either way works for me.

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