Psst! Buddy, have you heard...?

Everybody else is blogging about it, so I guess I will as well.  Francie started the gender discussion with her post Damned if you do... and a whole bunch of people have chimed in.  I agree completely with Francie and Kathy and Rob and Marie, etc. etc.  that it is a terrible shame when gender (or race or sexual orientation or height (just had to throw that in)) determines how people talk to you, treat you, or respond to you.  It shouldn't be tolerated, and I appreciate the attention and reminder to hold people accountable and not let it go on.

But having said that, I have a small complaint.  I have spent years at conferences hanging around beautiful, intelligent women, and even a few handsome, intelligent men, and nobody has ever assumed I was sleeping with anyone.  Do I have a big, blinking sign on my forehead which says I am totally smitten with my wife?  What is it with the complete lack of suspicion?  I've hung around Francie at Penumbra dinners, not a whisper.  I've trotted along behind Gabriella for entire Lotuspheres, not a rumor.  I had Mary Beth Raven sign my shirt one year, nobody said a thing.

I just want to know what a guy has to do to raise some eyebrows.  Sheesh!

What has been said:

850.1. Roy Rumaner (08/09/2009 08:34 PM)

When you figure it out, let me know because I am in the same boat.

14 great years of marriage (this week) must show all over my face. It seems that everyone knows I am the harmless flirt who will never follow through and will always go home to my wife at the end of the day.

It is either that or short, bald, middle aged guys just cannot compete these days but as long as my wife still loves me, I don't care either way.

850.2. Karsten Lehmann (09.08.2009 21:04)

That's easy. Don't talk about iFidelity :-)

850.3. Nathan T. Freeman (08/09/2009 09:24 PM)

biting... my... tongue...

;-)

Who is Ron, by the way?

850.4. Ben Langhinrichs (08/09/2009 09:34 PM)

Typo. I meant Rob (I hear typos are the "in thing" today). And as for biting your tongue, just be happy, because the first version of this post I wrote used you as the third example instead of Mary Beth Raven. (Something like: I complimented Nathan Freeman on his hair, nobody said a thing)

850.5. Stephan H. Wissel (08/10/2009 01:59 AM)

We simply made sure *YOU* wouldn't hear that rumours.

850.6. Ben Langhinrichs (08/10/2009 02:03 AM)

@Stephan - Cool. I'll enjoy the sensation that I might be whispered about.

850.7. Kathy Brown (08/10/2009 12:04 PM)

We've not met, but I've heard your rather tall for the Lotus community, maybe there is a height maximum on rumors? ;-)

850.8. Kathy Brown (08/10/2009 12:05 PM)

Ugh, "you're" not "your" of course. I need coffee...

850.9. Greyhawk68 (08/10/2009 12:46 PM)

I think we all just assumed that Crystal Coex had such a firm grip on you that you couldn't be swayed... speaking of that, can you introduce me? :-)

850.10. Ben Langhinrichs (08/10/2009 02:05 PM)

I do not let Crystal close enough to get a firm grip. It would be too painful.

850.11. Ben Langhinrichs (08/10/2009 04:19 PM)

@Kathy - Ah, a height-bias, perhaps? As for the typos, they were the "in thing" yesterday, so don't worry about it.

850.12. Lars Olufsen (10-08-2009 16:22)

There's an idea for a new Notes app ...

Let people register to have rumours created about them ... possibly including "pairing them up" with others that are "underrumoured".

i-Infidelity ;-)

850.13. Rodney Scott (08/11/2009 02:27 AM)

I'm glad somebody's thought to gather this information. Hopefully when your wife and daughter read this post, they'll also chime in with some pointers - "hey ladies, where's the big, blinking sign that says Ben's happily married?" You'd think they'd know.