Genii Weblog

My father died yesterday

Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:22 AM

by Ben Langhinrichs
I likely won't talk about it much, but I thought it might explain some of my distraction recently. He had been ill for a long time, though it didn't truly get awful until the last six months. By now, I am relieved that he is in a better place, and that my mother has survived being his primary caretaker, a grueling and difficult job. My father wasn't always the dad I wished he was, and I certainly wasn't always the son he wished I was, but relationship isn't about perfection. It's about trying right up to the end.

This is a poem I wrote when I first learned my dad was ill, and was trying to process the inevitable fact of his mortality.

The oak

The oak
in my backyard
holds twisted rope and wood,
reminder of a childhood fort
long lost.

Our dad,
our staunchest friend
though often pirate foe,
built us a house for all our dreams -
sky high.

We climbed
hand over hand
up to the very top,
surveyed our vast domain with pride
‘till bed.

We grew
and spread our wings,
explored the seven seas,
came back but rarely, in a rush,
then fled.

Last week
we got the news,
returned from whence we’d gone,
held hands, looked up and thought of him
and wept.

Copyright 2012 Genii Software Ltd.

What has been said:

1017.1. Roy Rumaner
(07/05/2012 05:58 PM)

I am sorry for your loss Ben.

1017.2. Dan Soares
(07/05/2012 06:24 PM)

My condolences Ben. I loved what you said - Relationship isn't about perfection.



1017.3. Christian Tillmanns
(05.07.2012 18:52)

My deepest condolences, Ben.

1017.4. Garrett Wolthuis
(07/05/2012 07:11 PM)

My condolences on your loss, Ben.

1017.5. Mike McGarel
(07/05/2012 10:55 PM)

Ben, my sincerest condolences.

1017.6. Maureen Leland
(07/06/2012 01:45 AM)

Ben, I'm so very sorry. It sounds like you are mostly at peace with him being in a better place, but it is still always hard. We'll be thinking of you and yours.

1017.7. Steve Dickson
(07/06/2012 08:55 AM)

I am very sorry for your loss, Ben.

1017.8. Hieko Voigt
(06.07.2012 08:56)

My condolences on your loss, Ben. We went down that exact path three years ago - know how you feel.

1017.9. Remo Linter
(06.07.2012 09:11)

My deepest condolences.

1017.10. Richard Shergold
(06/07/2012 09:56)

So sorry to hear that Ben.

1017.11. Avinash
(07/06/2012 10:39 AM)

Hi Ben, I'm sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences

1017.12. Matt Cook
(07/06/2012 12:30 PM)

I like the strong imagery in your poem. Well done.

Peace to you and your family.

1017.13. Don McNally
(07/06/2012 01:02 PM)

Ben, my condolences to you and your family.

1017.14. Ben Langhinrichs
(07/06/2012 02:33 PM)

Thank you, all of you. Your condolences are very much appreciated by me and my family.

1017.15. Stevan Bajić
(06/07/2012 17:46)

Ben, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I know how it feels to lose his father. Please accept my condolences.

1017.16. Doug Finner
(07/06/2012 08:50 PM)

My thoughts go out to you and your family.

1017.17. Rich Hunter
(07/23/2012 09:14 PM)

Sorry for your loss Ben, My condolences to you and your family.